ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he fucked my hip out of place.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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