Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
