i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize