apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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