You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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