I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish my penis had a tongue
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
