my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
