Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My Higher Power is John Stamos
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
