i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
