You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
