We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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