That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
