We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's blow job season.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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