Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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