I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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