She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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