5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize