I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This baby is an asshole
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
