I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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