I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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