meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize