the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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