chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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