too bad you live with your parents still
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
