To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
