spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
