He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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