I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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