Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like eating out sand paper
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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