Kiss
Puke
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
