Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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