they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
