he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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