ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
