That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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