Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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