Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
