I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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