does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
