I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
