I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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