when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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