ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
