yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you traded sex for a burrito?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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