Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
PANTIES FOUND
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