I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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