LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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