Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
