HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
