I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we made out on top of his cat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
