the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
