can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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