my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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