You work out of a Hotel?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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