wake up i wanna do it froggy style
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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