i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
