is your mom at the bar?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
