thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
