I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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