Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Porn is love you can see.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
