I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
