Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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