he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
