next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
