that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it glows. i had to have it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
