meet me or not, i'm out of control
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
