Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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