The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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