Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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