the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
where am i from again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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