dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
