Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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