so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
