new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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