Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
