I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize