It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
