My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
