ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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