let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
