i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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