Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
