Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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