I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i now understand why vodka
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
