I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
