K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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